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Holy Teachings of Self Defeat

by Codex Obscura

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1.
Fulilling man's visceral desire deep down inside To rape and kill and torture human beings like the animals we are Under the shadow of the hands of God, everything is justified Spit poison in the faces of the heathens Enslave their wives and crucify the men The stench of blood fills the air in the night Raid the villages, burn down the cities Make the name of the Lord one to be feared Our Lord is one of war Teach the masses not to worship false idols
2.
Every eye upon me stares with hate and contempt I can't leave home without feeling followed Dripping fear like I'm covered in sweat Will is breaking, hands are shaking and I am alone Filled with anxiety, I can feel my heart beating inside me This is the skin I'm at home in, I'm supposed to be confident I don't belong This world doesn't want me, I won't be accepted I can't shake this feeling everybody hates me I don't want your pity, I just want to finally Feel like I'm worth something to someone special I am an embarrassment to everyone I know I hate myself It's not my fault I will never be happy
3.
Every day I wake up, I dread getting out of bed I wonder if I have made a terrible mistake Weighing on my conscience I can't take this feeling anymore I did this for you so you wouldn't feel alone This fucking aching is becoming unbearable I can't take this anymore I can't take being alone anymore
4.
Corrupted by the words of the so-called father A false prophet with a message of hatred Infecting every single thought inside my head Defeating me until I prayed for death I was your prisoner How can you call yourself a god? Your name is disgrace Every day I'm inching closer to the person I want to see in the morning when I wake up and I got here without you But still these etchings crawl inside my skin I want to tear you away I want to erase you Living on the inside Wanting to come outside Living on the inside I will come out
5.
Circumsicions The marking of the surgeon Mutilating the newborns In the name of God Your body is filthy, shameful sin You will learn to hate your sexuality Copulation is a tool for creation only Dehumanized and baptised in blood Open up the child's mind to feed on his innocence, rape him of his pride Bastard child you are a son of God
6.
Opened wide and ripped to pieces Carrying out the blood of your will The deeds are done now, I am me no more Speaking to me through the airwaves Something's not right I'm not who I see in the mirror I don't know who it is or how they got there This image never fades away Bound and broken I feel the chains of the Lord tightening ever tighter I can't breathe I can't speak I can't feel I am losing my grip on reality Speaking to me through the airwaves and throughout my mind I cannot feel pain anymore I have lost, I submit, you have won Fighting to feel something other than my guilt I have done nothing wrong but still I feel this emptiness
7.
The end comes more quickly than you would know I have stood on the edge and peered over I felt free of all my pain But when I think of the plunge I start to turn away I cannot leave them behind, cursed for my suffering Giving up is not the end of your life Your pain lives on inside the hearts of everyone you know Everyone you loved You selfish bastard You will find a way Your pain lives on in the hearts of everyone you know Everyone you loved The grief of loss consumes you whole This burden of grief rests on your shoulders Life finds a way
8.
Burden 03:24
Open sores from head to toe in the shapes of a few names Put her aside, she is an embarrassment to everyone Love is pick and choose, fuse one and one and there is option left Walking side by side by side Let the burden die I emerge from the exit wound as a bullet aimed straight for the head Now it's raining and I'm left at a crossroads with no way home Open it by the spine and let the words fall out Let the flood carry me to a place where no one knows my name I will start again and be burned at the stake for stealing gold from the king who stole it all from me I will never stop because I like the pain I want to die inside and feel it slip away The torment rips me apart and makes me feel alive Do it to us again and remind me that I'm still here
9.
I am the air that follows With the shadow as my veil I will abolish all human instincts Engraved in my countenance Thousands of years of holy malevolence, death and war Do not spare the kin For they know not what they have done
10.
Virus 01:41
Hatred collapsing down and in on itself like the vile fucking plague that surrounds it Abhorrent figures with ignorant minds seeking only one comforting image I deny I am alive Rotting flesh permeates the air A child is crying its grave Piled in the dirt Clawing my way back Up into the cold night air Ashes; the children in the background Taking back what's mine from the virus
11.
Ghosts of your actions instantiate panic Quick to pull the trigger regardless of your aim Breaking promises while making new ones you can't keep Assure them that you're capable; embody disappointment No one's unfailing but you keep setting yourself up When the shock hits your bones and the roof caves in Living off the backs of others, claiming to succeed Open up the noose and take a look inside Now you will see what it looks like when it all comes crashing down Goodnight to the ones that I loved
12.
Ghost 04:04
I don't know if I'm losing my grip Or if I know too much Numbing fingers feeling for a surface Maybe I'm just losing my touch Laugh it off when I'm searching for help Nothing so priceless Should feel this worthless Nothing I do feels any less pointless I never stopped to help But I did begin to resent you You never taught me anything about myself But when you gave up trying You taught me how to cope With losing my whole life I know you were scared- Imagine the fear in a child having to watch as its mother loses everything I could do nothing as mother cried her eyes out I could not use death as an excuse Goodbye to the ghost of shallow company Goodbye to the ghost that taught me how to quit I wish you were here to see how happy I am I miss you Now I breathe these words in solitude These words that I wish that I didn't know I miss you

about

This album is a bunch of melodramatic ramblings written by me about how poopy I think religion is, how I blame religion for a lot of my self esteem and self image issues, suicide, a song about circumcisions for some reason, and my dad.

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released November 5, 2016

Miira - Everything

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all rights reserved

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Codex Obscura North Carolina

i am a depressed meat robot that outputs deathcore about how bad i feel all of the time. i write and record all the music, and most unfortunately, i engineer it as well.

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