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Miira

by Codex Obscura

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themeegs
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themeegs Easily one of the most introspective, personal albums I've ever heard. An absolute masterpiece of lyrical and musical cooperation. Favorite track: Miira.
Leda XO
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Leda XO this is really really real
Mehtul
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Mehtul When you listen to any of the Codex Obscura releases, you get an incredibly honest release of real human experience (plus musicianship and song writing skills that put the point right in your face). One of my favorite musicians on Bandcamp. Thank you for sharing this with us. Favorite track: Fear Made a Home in Me.
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1.
Weighted in my stomach like an anchor A fear of every person that I met Fear of myself and why I'm alive I hid underneath the covers I made up stories to feel important Interviews with no one to feel like my words mattered My life it was significant to the imaginary viewers Until they would all disappear My mother she cared for me like no one else did Every time she left my sight I was sure that she was gone You're the only one I cared about, you're the only one I needed Please don't leave me here alone
2.
No Company 01:53
I am a fear of life I am intolerable loneliness I am a guilty sinner I am the filthy boy I am the shelter dog who lies in wait Put me out with fire Shut me with duress Open up my insides Reprogrammed to never feel a thing I will sit inside my room And play with no one but myself As you wish Keep me full with lies So I will never hunger Set and severed No company to visit me
3.
A silent puncture bleeding me out I wish I could tell someone I wish I could tell you A silent breaking that I feel inside my heart When you say those hurtful things When you're punching all those holes and you're unaware it's me Sitting alone steeping in anger I wish I could remove I wish that I could change I wish that I could tell someone I wish I could stand on my legs I wish I could walk on my own I wish that I wasn't alone I wish I had a home I wish I wasn't me My reflection's unfamiliar A stranger making faces at me This isn't right, this can't be me This isn't my body, this must be a mistake I clung onto God He threw me away
4.
I am worth less than the sum of my parts I am a haunted house I am a fading light I am parting ways with cherished things I am a hatred of all living things I am the moonlight colored green I am the hole in between I am a vacancy I am a hole between I am your love unseen I am a hole between
5.
Gray and Red 03:24
Assume your grieving stance A flowing river falling through your fingertips It pools in the form of regrets Time will not stand still for you This is a tomb, not a chrysalis You won't evolve while you're playing dead The color in the world around you fades away The blood you draw highlights your shame You live at home in gray and red You make your bed on fear and anger No time for reparations There is no consoling the dead Maligned in stringent patterns You know you swallowed the key Asleep in tried excuses Break down and fall away Your skin is laced with imprints Your weakness in the flesh You live at home in gray and red You make your bed on fear and anger Waking up to the sound of heartache Your hands were bleached with dirty fingernails Coming back Slipping up Don't come home We're not safe Open up Fall apart Beaten down I stood up I want to taste the blood that pools on my tongue I want to smell the blood that spills from your mouth I want to know you're suffering alone I want the tears you stole to choke you to death
6.
I am a hopeful idea I am a box of pins I am the glue in between I am progress dressed like indifference I am the shore in the distance I am a bronze statue So far from where I began My eyes soak up the skyline My feet are firmly planted And my footprints have washed away Bigger than the world Conscience facing me Eyes toward the sun I won't be lost here I make my own way forward Slipping…
7.
4 AM 05:04
I wear the night like a shroud The light illuminates my face My life means nothing I merely perpetuate the agony of existence I have no reason to stay awake But here I am in a cloud of smoke The stinging cold my face It makes me feel like I'm alive It makes me feel like I am dying alone Everything feels numb Take one look in the mirror Before ascending back up to your cell The anger and fear you feel right now- In the face of a man who wants you dead -It's only natural I love you more than I love myself But there's a line that I must cross to get to you There is a man that I must kill to get to you It is myself I am the trap I set for you The numbers on the screen, They don’t mean a thing now Oh the weeks how they bleed And I feel my body aging I can feel my teeth rotting Seconds tick away I’m getting older and my time is nearly up I lie on empty laurels coveting from a distance and I want to know why I can’t just move to find another reason why I can’t jump off I swear it’s not a sickness these things they come in whispers and I’m the one who hears it and you’re the one who leaves me
8.
I am a guiding light I am the solid ground I am starting over I am making way Open up Facing the only way forward I made a stand I bore my teeth Feelings that I have hid I am so done with it all I am the flightless bird that sings (I am so done with it all) I am a road at night I am a sea of change I am the marking of a newborn This was my final farewell I am here to stay forever
9.
Memories embedded in the pages Images infect me like a sickness I just want this to be over I won't be happy till it kills me Please speak to me slowly, I'm sorry if I don't understand This is the first year of my life that I have lived without considering taking my own life and flushing everything down the drain And if it's true that we are all our own gods Then I guess the question has been answered Cause I have created so many things That I am too weak to lift up on my own I lived within the fading Shallow pools of empathy You found the one that deepened you made it an ocean The sun has never been so bright The wind will take my breath away Now I feel like I've found myself I can live on the outside I was touched on the hand You grabbed it and pulled me in The faded colors, they start to saturate Now they are so much brighter now they're louder than life The features they come to light You helped me see the picture A view beyond the frame We made my life together You showed me pain's okay We took and smashed the mirror Put a window in its place Cause what's the point of beauty If we all look the same? I wanna believe that I'm alright No more basking in pain The leaves turn brown and fall away But new ones always take their place I am the Autumn of my life I am no longer the fall
10.
Miira 03:04
Sometimes I hurt but that's okay I'll be fine, I will stand, I will lift my head up Sometimes I feel like I'm alone and that's okay I'll open up, I will breathe slowly, I will say your name The needle pierces gently I'll bite my lip and smile Cause I know the patchwork will look lovely My scars tell stories now, they no longer define me I did this for me I put myself first For the first time in my life Now to anyone who has ever put doubt in me; I don’t care if it seems wrong to you I've found something that makes me feel okay and it took 25 years to make it here So god dammit even if I’m wrong At least it feels alright like nothing else ever has before At least I don’t wake up in the morning feeling like my life is a lie At least I don’t toss and turn when I’m going to sleep being crushed under the weight of wasted time A few years ago I wished for death every day but I didn’t feel I deserved even that Now I’m standing naked in my bathroom, looking in the mirror crying cause I know I almost never got a chance to see this image staring back at me She almost never had a chance to live and love and know the beauty of the world Now I’m alive to be thankful for all the people who cherish me My existence has a meaning now, and I couldn't care less if it seems right to you or not My name is Miira and I'm going to be alright I'm going to be alright I'm going to be okay I'm going to be fine

about

this album is a series of vignettes representing different periods of my life, mostly in relation to my transition and the eventual acceptance of myself.
Miira is more personal sounding and experimental than Holy Teachings of Self Defeat, so i hope you like it just as well.

credits

released June 19, 2017

Miira - Everything

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about

Codex Obscura North Carolina

i am a depressed meat robot that outputs deathcore about how bad i feel all of the time. i write and record all the music, and most unfortunately, i engineer it as well.

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