We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

4 AM

from Miira by Codex Obscura

/

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

  • Buy the Full Digital Album

about

ages 18-22

we were living with my mom's next boyfriend, and i was smoking like a chimney. unemployed, out of school, staying up all night every night. if i wasn't on the computer, i was playing music, if i wasn't playing music, i was outside smoking cigarettes. i really really started feeling intense gender dysphoria as i felt like i was running out of time to make a change. i was still afraid of being transgender, i wanted to live peacefully and "normally" as a man, but it was proving to be intolerable. dressing up nice and putting on makeup was the only time i really felt happy, and that was apparent to me. days and weeks and months wiped by, i had no idea what day it was or even what time it was usually. i started dating again and was ultimately made to feel disgusted for wearing nail polish and makeup and girl clothes. my appearance was ridiculed constantly, and all i wished was to make them feel the horrible pain i felt whenever i tried to kill the girl inside me

Lyrics:

lyrics

I wear the night like a shroud
The light illuminates my face
My life means nothing
I merely perpetuate the agony of existence

I have no reason to stay awake
But here I am in a cloud of smoke
The stinging cold my face
It makes me feel like I'm alive
It makes me feel like I am dying alone

Everything feels numb

Take one look in the mirror
Before ascending back up to your cell
The anger and fear you feel right now-
In the face of a man who wants you dead
-It's only natural
I love you more than I love myself
But there's a line that I must cross to get to you

There is a man that I must kill to get to you
It is myself
I am the trap I set for you

The numbers on the screen,
They don’t mean a thing now
Oh the weeks how they bleed
And I feel my body aging
I can feel my teeth rotting

Seconds tick away
I’m getting older and my time is nearly up
I lie on empty laurels coveting from a distance
and I want to know why I can’t just move
to find another reason why I can’t jump off

I swear it’s not a sickness
these things they come in whispers
and I’m the one who hears it
and you’re the one who leaves me

credits

from Miira, released June 19, 2017

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Codex Obscura image

Codex Obscura North Carolina

i am a depressed meat robot that outputs deathcore about how bad i feel all of the time. i write and record all the music, and most unfortunately, i engineer it as well.

contact / help

Contact Codex Obscura

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Codex Obscura, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Saxophonist Isaiah Collier chats about his new LP and the influence of Pharoah Sanders.
listen now