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Gray and Red

from Miira by Codex Obscura

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about

ages 13-17

i started public high school around age 16, hoping to finally broaden my view of society. unfortunately, i was already immersed in total cynicism and misanthropy, and making friends was impossible because i hated all of them. i now began to realize how hateful i was, and that it wasn't okay, and that if i could just get a grip and get over myself, this would be an excellent place to start over. that didn't happen, anger and hatred are way easier and more comfortable. while in public school, i was introduced to the idea of hurting myself and it was really big for me; i hated myself, and it let me take out my anger on myself with physical evidence, plus if i did it at school, other kids would react negatively which gave me pleasure. a year and a half or so after my dad died, we claimed bankruptcy and lost our land, house, and business. my mom and i hurriedly moved in with her boyfriend at the time, whom she soon married. he was an alcoholic, he was abusive, and i hated him more than anything. i had violent fantasies about smashing his face in, and came close to it a few times, but we eventually made it out on accrued Social Security supplemental income

Lyrics:

lyrics

Assume your grieving stance
A flowing river falling through your fingertips
It pools in the form of regrets
Time will not stand still for you
This is a tomb, not a chrysalis
You won't evolve while you're playing dead
The color in the world around you fades away
The blood you draw highlights your shame

You live at home in gray and red
You make your bed on fear and anger

No time for reparations
There is no consoling the dead
Maligned in stringent patterns
You know you swallowed the key
Asleep in tried excuses
Break down and fall away
Your skin is laced with imprints
Your weakness in the flesh

You live at home in gray and red
You make your bed on fear and anger

Waking up to the sound of heartache
Your hands were bleached with dirty fingernails

Coming back
Slipping up
Don't come home
We're not safe
Open up
Fall apart
Beaten down
I stood up

I want to taste the blood that pools on my tongue
I want to smell the blood that spills from your mouth
I want to know you're suffering alone
I want the tears you stole to choke you to death

credits

from Miira, released June 19, 2017

license

all rights reserved

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Codex Obscura image

Codex Obscura North Carolina

i am a depressed meat robot that outputs deathcore about how bad i feel all of the time. i write and record all the music, and most unfortunately, i engineer it as well.

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