To Suffer in Silence

from Miira by Codex Obscura

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about

ages 8-12

this one is about how i was too scared to tell my parents anything about myself- especially the fact that i had homosexual feelings and felt unhappiness with my gender. this fear was made exponentially worse by the fact that our religion hated almost everything that i was, and they were vocal about it, unaware that i was everything they hated. this feeling of alienation and unwantedness made it so i never truly felt like i was at home, but rather living in a house full of mean strangers (that is, until the internet began to resemble what it is today)

Lyrics:

lyrics

A silent puncture bleeding me out
I wish I could tell someone
I wish I could tell you
A silent breaking that I feel inside my heart
When you say those hurtful things
When you're punching all those holes
and you're unaware it's me

Sitting alone steeping in anger
I wish I could remove
I wish that I could change
I wish that I could tell someone

I wish I could stand on my legs
I wish I could walk on my own
I wish that I wasn't alone
I wish I had a home
I wish I wasn't me

My reflection's unfamiliar
A stranger making faces at me
This isn't right, this can't be me
This isn't my body, this must be a mistake

I clung onto God
He threw me away

credits

from Miira, released June 19, 2017

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about

Codex Obscura North Carolina

i am a depressed meat robot that outputs deathcore about how bad i feel all of the time. i write and record all the music, and most unfortunately, i engineer it as well.

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